Steak

I get it, people like their supplements, but if you can’t even explain what you’re taking, should you be taking it?

Old Man in Towel: (to Meathead shaking bottle of blue liquid) Whatchoo got there?

Meathead: BCA’s*

OMT: What’s that?

Meathead: It’s what’s in steak. 

OMT: What?

Meathead: It’s what’s in steak.

OMT: OH! Steak.

Meathead: Yeah

*Branched Chain Aminos

Not Naked. Not a Man.

Confused, elderly woman enters the mens’ locker room. Despite multiple men present, sees no one.

Me: Ma’am?

Confused Woman: Oh!

(Exit Confused Woman)

Forget you

Naked man with athlete’s foot: (while spraying feet, a popular Cee Lo song comes on the radio) yeah… you-oo-oo

Personal Space

Naked man, smelling of chlorine: (with dripping swim trunks hanging right of my locker and his open locker to the left) ’Scuse me.

Politics

Naked man holding towel (obscuring nothing): (on Herman Cain) If he were a Democrat, this would be great! Look at Slick Willy! (pause) But Republicans don’t want Obama in office, why would they want him?

Fly a kite.

Naked Obese Man in Knock-Off Crocs: It’s like someone’s trying to fly a kite in here…with the fan.

Kids

Obese Man Wrapped in a Towel: The kids move out. The grocery bill stays the same.

Athletes

Naked Obese Man in Brown Slides: (regarding pick-up basketball in the distant past) If you wanted to score, you had to shoot the ball.

Catch the Bus

Obese Naked Man with Talon Toenails: I always push it to the last minute. Now I’m going to have to push it to catch the bus.

Then I Found Twenty Dollars

Obese Naked Man with Talon Toenails: You write down your workouts?

Me: Yep.

ONMTT: I have a friend from college who goes to this gym who does that.